Oh sweet Gavin.
As I sit down to type this I am coming down off of a few frustrating moments regarding the amount of lunch you ate (or lack thereof) and whether or not you chose to eat or chose to rest. I ended up making the decision for you and you are now resting on the couch. Sweet boy, you challenge me in ways that I never thought possible, but then in the same breath, same blink of an eye, you can melt my heart completely.
Moments after you were born, the doctor proclaimed "it's a boy!" and I burst into tears with happiness and joy. I was excited to have a little boy and a little brother for Sydney. I never had a brother and I always wondered what it would be like. However, I also remember being nervous about raising a little boy. I was nervous about the fearlessness that often comes so naturally for little boys. I'm a cautious person by nature, sensitive, and not terribly outgoing. Sydney is very similar. I knew that you would be your very own little person (probably more like your dad!)....I was right. And I have loved every minute of watching you grow and explore and change and learn and love. You were the sweetest baby and loved to snuggle. I worried that you would outgrow that, but I am thankful that you haven't. You were not very interested in sitting and reading stories (like Sydney was from the get-go), you were always on the go exploring new toys and new things. It wasn't until you were probably a year and a half that you finally would sit still for a book or to try a puzzle--I loved that time with you! (You are still constantly on the go...you go "super speed" all day until your head hits the pillow at night. It never takes you long to fall asleep--and you are always the first one to wake up in the morning!) Now you enjoy reading and you are the puzzle master! I think you have more puzzles in your room than most 3 year old little boys, that is for sure. Sometimes, when you're quiet, I will frantically run to check on you (because you have been known to cause some mischief...), but sometimes, I will find you sitting quietly with a book or two, or three and on occasion a puzzle or two. I love those moments. I love working on puzzles with you but mostly I like sitting back and watching you as your mind gets to work and "solves" the puzzle. You are clever and creative and persistent. You hate being pulled from something before it is completed (a puzzle, a game, a book, a show) and oftentimes you will scramble to finish it up simply so it can be done before you leave it. It drives me crazy sometimes, but I try to just roll with it. It's who you are (and who your dad is as well) and even though it may be something that causes me some grief now, I know it's a trait that will take you far. You love to play hard and rough house, but you also love to love on your family members (and will even pass out hugs to people you just met!) Those who meet you can't help but love you and fall for those baby blue eyes of yours that contain just the right amounts of charm and orneriness. You love playing with Sydney and miss her terribly while she is at school. Once she is home, I don't usually see the two of you unless a problem arises. Both of you are off together playing dinosaur land or trucks or trains or if you're outside, she loves to push you on the tire swing! You let out the most amazing laugh...it is contagious. It melts me when I see the two of you play so well together!
Currently you are in your second month of preschool and I am slowly starting to accept the fact that you are growing up! "That's what happens" your dad says, "kids grow up." It isn't as black and white for me because in my mind you are still my little baby boy. However, seeing you love and enjoy and thrive in school makes my heart so happy. You are doing such a great job in preschool and usually like to tell me about your days and sing the Goodbye Song for me. (Except the other day you politely said "can you stop talking to me please?" while we were driving home. ;) How can I argue with that?!) Now that we have Avery and you are no longer the official baby of the house, I view you more as my "little" boy than my baby boy and it's okay. I have loved watching you take over your new role as big brother to Avery. She adores you and smiles so brightly at you, sometimes when you don't even notice she's doing it. You give her the sweetest kisses and loves and again, it melts me.
So dear Gavin, thank you for bringing so much adventure and spunk to our lives. I am honored to be your mom and to watch you become an amazing little man. There is so much that lies ahead for you and I am excited to be a part of your journey! I love you more than you will ever know!
Love,
Mom
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Letters to our Children: Sydney
Dearest Sydney,
You are now in your second month of Kindergarten and you have far exceeded my expectations of how well you would do in school. I knew you would love it. I knew you would work hard, listen, pay attention, and do your best. Mrs. Rich has said that you are a "great Kindergartener"! I knew you would be! What has amazed me even more is how much you have grown right before our very eyes over the last couple of months. You are wise beyond your years my love. Some of the things you say blow me away and even more so, some of the things you do, has made me even MORE proud to be your mom. You have stood up for friends and peers who were being teased, you have stood up to friends who were doing the teasing, more importantly, you have stood up for yourself against peers who were teasing you. Just last night you told me a story about a little person who was teasing you for things you couldn't do, that he could. You confidently and casually said to me "but I know that there are things that I can do, that he can too." During the first weeks of school, someone teased you for not being able to climb as high as he could, once again, you confidently and casually stated "well I showed him and climbed even higher!" My heart could have burst with pride. You are naturally a very sensitive little person--much like me--you empathize with people who are hurting, sad, happy, or excited. You are so helpful and you want to make everything better for everyone. You love so much and are so generous and thoughtful and caring. Hang on to these qualities sweet girl. You are already becoming an amazing person. However, I know that by being a sensitive person, it leaves the door open to people criticizing things you can or can't do and this often leads to teasing. Before we sent you to Kindergarten, I hoped and I prayed that you would have the confidence in your amazing little self to stand up to these critics that were your peers, but to also love them and guide them to love others. You were so proud of yourself after you "showed" that boy that you could climb higher, the next day he apologized to you and you told me "maybe I taught him how to be nice to other people who can't do some things." Again...a moment of a heart-bursting-with-pride for me.
These are just a few of the moments from these first couple of months that I look at you and think to myself "when did our first baby girl grow up so much?" I am sad the time has flown by (and is flying by) as quickly as it has, but I absolutely love and cherish these moments that give us a sneak peek in to the person you are going to become. And what a beautiful one you are...inside and out, in every way. You work hard, you are inquisitive, clever, and creative. I love watching your mind work as you take random, ordinary things around the house and turn them into exactly what you had dreamed up in your mind. You are capable of doing so many amazing things in your life, Sydney, and you will touch many lives along the way. I am honored to be a part of your journey and I cannot wait to see what is in store for you. I love you more than you will ever know!
Love,
Mom
You are now in your second month of Kindergarten and you have far exceeded my expectations of how well you would do in school. I knew you would love it. I knew you would work hard, listen, pay attention, and do your best. Mrs. Rich has said that you are a "great Kindergartener"! I knew you would be! What has amazed me even more is how much you have grown right before our very eyes over the last couple of months. You are wise beyond your years my love. Some of the things you say blow me away and even more so, some of the things you do, has made me even MORE proud to be your mom. You have stood up for friends and peers who were being teased, you have stood up to friends who were doing the teasing, more importantly, you have stood up for yourself against peers who were teasing you. Just last night you told me a story about a little person who was teasing you for things you couldn't do, that he could. You confidently and casually said to me "but I know that there are things that I can do, that he can too." During the first weeks of school, someone teased you for not being able to climb as high as he could, once again, you confidently and casually stated "well I showed him and climbed even higher!" My heart could have burst with pride. You are naturally a very sensitive little person--much like me--you empathize with people who are hurting, sad, happy, or excited. You are so helpful and you want to make everything better for everyone. You love so much and are so generous and thoughtful and caring. Hang on to these qualities sweet girl. You are already becoming an amazing person. However, I know that by being a sensitive person, it leaves the door open to people criticizing things you can or can't do and this often leads to teasing. Before we sent you to Kindergarten, I hoped and I prayed that you would have the confidence in your amazing little self to stand up to these critics that were your peers, but to also love them and guide them to love others. You were so proud of yourself after you "showed" that boy that you could climb higher, the next day he apologized to you and you told me "maybe I taught him how to be nice to other people who can't do some things." Again...a moment of a heart-bursting-with-pride for me.
These are just a few of the moments from these first couple of months that I look at you and think to myself "when did our first baby girl grow up so much?" I am sad the time has flown by (and is flying by) as quickly as it has, but I absolutely love and cherish these moments that give us a sneak peek in to the person you are going to become. And what a beautiful one you are...inside and out, in every way. You work hard, you are inquisitive, clever, and creative. I love watching your mind work as you take random, ordinary things around the house and turn them into exactly what you had dreamed up in your mind. You are capable of doing so many amazing things in your life, Sydney, and you will touch many lives along the way. I am honored to be a part of your journey and I cannot wait to see what is in store for you. I love you more than you will ever know!
Love,
Mom
Monday, October 7, 2013
Letters to our Children
I have been inspired by a friend who recently shared her own blog and her mission to write a letter to her daughter every month. As anyone can see, from my last post, our sweet Avery wasn't even here yet and I haven't updated since. Life has been kind of crazy-the best kind of crazy-and I did at least type up her birth story so I have it forever. However, I am self-admittedly terrible at writing things down--milestones reached, funny sayings/doings, events and trips, etc., etc., etc. I promise myself at the time that I will always remember whatever it was that was so sweet, endearing, funny or crazy, but then before I know it, time has flown by and I find that I just cannot recall certain moments like I used to. Anyhow, I thought that writing one letter to each of our children every month should be totally doable. I want to do this for them, and for me, but mostly for them. They will want these memories as much as I will later on in our lives. I'm starting with our sweet Avery. :)
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Dearest Avery Jordann.
Today is a pretty big day for you! Today marks your half birthday, six months of your beautiful little life. Six months since you came in to this world at warp speed and melted every single one of our hearts. I remember that moment as if it were just yesterday, which is probably why it is so hard for me to believe that we are already here. You were born, I looked to your dad and he mouthed the words, "it's a girl." And I just lost it...I cried the happiest of tears. You were here--you were safe--you were ours. I remember telling your dad, long before I was pregnant with you, that if we had another baby I just "felt" that we would have another girl. (I was not a good "guesser" about your sister and brother, so he just shrugged at me and went on about his business!) I had a very vivid dream while I was pregnant with you--and we had a little girl. I recall waking up the morning after that dream feeling so incredibly excited to meet you (I didn't know at the time of the dream if you were a boy or a girl) and I felt so incredibly full of love for you...long before you were even in my arms.
Every member of our little family (and extended family) has just fallen in love with you! I have said from the beginning, that Avery is a little person who knows what she wants when she wants it. When you were ready to make your big debut, you arrived in record time. In the first few days of your life I was stressing about making sure you nursed every two hours on the dot. You fought me hard-we were both in tears. Until I figured out that you were just sleepy and that maybe, just maybe you were the kind of little person who wanted to eat every three hours (thanks Aunt Bailey for helping me accept that!) Sure enough, you would snooze a bit and wake up and eat exactly three hours after your last feeding. Even now, you can be the most patient and tolerant little person, until you've had enough and then you do not hesitate to make your frustrations known. In addition to that, I am completely overwhelmed by your sweetness, your laidback and patient demeanor, your smile, your eyes, your beautiful bald head, your wandering and exploring hands that always find my face or my hair while we're rocking at night. Those same wandering and exploring hands like to find Daddy's face, Gavin's nose, and Sydney's eyeglasses. I am trying my very hardest to soak up all of these precious moments with you, for I know they fly by way too fast. I hold you a little bit longer in the middle of the night, after you have finished eating and you drift off to sleep. I wear you a little bit more in the baby carrier because I love "snuggling" with you. I love to lay on the play mat with you, just to be that close to you, and see the world from your eyes. I absolutely adore watching you react when you see your brother and sister. You LOVE them and get the biggest smile on your face when they come around. You kick and wiggle and sometimes even "talk" to them until they come close and you start reaching for their faces, their hair, their hands. They adore you, Avery and they cannot get enough of you. You have your Daddy wrapped around your finger and I think he tells you 20 times every day how beautiful and sweet you are and how much he loves you. You are the perfect addition to our family Avery. You make this family complete! I cannot wait to see what lies in store for you as you continue to grow and change. I am honored to be your mother and I love you more than you will ever know.
Love,
Mom
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Dearest Avery Jordann.
Today is a pretty big day for you! Today marks your half birthday, six months of your beautiful little life. Six months since you came in to this world at warp speed and melted every single one of our hearts. I remember that moment as if it were just yesterday, which is probably why it is so hard for me to believe that we are already here. You were born, I looked to your dad and he mouthed the words, "it's a girl." And I just lost it...I cried the happiest of tears. You were here--you were safe--you were ours. I remember telling your dad, long before I was pregnant with you, that if we had another baby I just "felt" that we would have another girl. (I was not a good "guesser" about your sister and brother, so he just shrugged at me and went on about his business!) I had a very vivid dream while I was pregnant with you--and we had a little girl. I recall waking up the morning after that dream feeling so incredibly excited to meet you (I didn't know at the time of the dream if you were a boy or a girl) and I felt so incredibly full of love for you...long before you were even in my arms.
Every member of our little family (and extended family) has just fallen in love with you! I have said from the beginning, that Avery is a little person who knows what she wants when she wants it. When you were ready to make your big debut, you arrived in record time. In the first few days of your life I was stressing about making sure you nursed every two hours on the dot. You fought me hard-we were both in tears. Until I figured out that you were just sleepy and that maybe, just maybe you were the kind of little person who wanted to eat every three hours (thanks Aunt Bailey for helping me accept that!) Sure enough, you would snooze a bit and wake up and eat exactly three hours after your last feeding. Even now, you can be the most patient and tolerant little person, until you've had enough and then you do not hesitate to make your frustrations known. In addition to that, I am completely overwhelmed by your sweetness, your laidback and patient demeanor, your smile, your eyes, your beautiful bald head, your wandering and exploring hands that always find my face or my hair while we're rocking at night. Those same wandering and exploring hands like to find Daddy's face, Gavin's nose, and Sydney's eyeglasses. I am trying my very hardest to soak up all of these precious moments with you, for I know they fly by way too fast. I hold you a little bit longer in the middle of the night, after you have finished eating and you drift off to sleep. I wear you a little bit more in the baby carrier because I love "snuggling" with you. I love to lay on the play mat with you, just to be that close to you, and see the world from your eyes. I absolutely adore watching you react when you see your brother and sister. You LOVE them and get the biggest smile on your face when they come around. You kick and wiggle and sometimes even "talk" to them until they come close and you start reaching for their faces, their hair, their hands. They adore you, Avery and they cannot get enough of you. You have your Daddy wrapped around your finger and I think he tells you 20 times every day how beautiful and sweet you are and how much he loves you. You are the perfect addition to our family Avery. You make this family complete! I cannot wait to see what lies in store for you as you continue to grow and change. I am honored to be your mother and I love you more than you will ever know.
Love,
Mom
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