change

Transformation is not a future destination, it is a present activity.

After working out with Jillian Michaels each morning for the last...well, too many mornings, this is a quote that has become ingrained in my memory. Over the last month or so I have found myself become increasingly more aware of the truth in this statement. When I began this health/fitness/losing weight journey, I put very little thought in to the portion sizes on my dinner plate, or the snacks I would have, or even the treats that I "deserved." I thought very little of the calories that were included in the food I was eating. It was always in the back of my mind of course, but I think I thought if I really knew how many calories were in this or that, then it would just ruin it for me. :) Now that I have been on this journey for several months it is more apparent to me now that because of those choices I have made along this "journey", my body is now used to certain foods and certain portions. It has been incredible to reminisce on my past dinner/dessert/snack choices and have that a-ha! moment. (A-ha! THAT's why I couldn't ever lose the weight!) I would think nothing of having seconds or thirds of spaghetti, an entire Ghirardelli chocolate bar (but I would only piece on one square at a time so that isn't the same as eating it one sitting...right?...), I would put as much butter on my bread/pancake/toast as I'd like--same for peanut butter.

Luckily I am much more aware of all of that now and my priorities and tastes, have changed dramatically. We have an entire bag of Halloween candy sitting on our kitchen counter that I haven't touched, and can honestly say I have no desire to indulge in anything in that bag. It would take up too many of my precious calories! :) Priorities, priorities! Most recently while enjoying the quiet time right after bedtime, I wanted something sweet (can't lose that sweet tooth!) and opted for some fresh watermelon over anything else. It was not a painful decision by any means, it sounded good to me, plus I knew I could have as much of that as I wanted without "ruining" my good day. I have found that I still crave sweet stuff, but I feel more in control about how much I will enjoy.

I did not write this as an AW look at me, blah blah nor as a preach-y type message, but as a person who has set out to lose weight multiple times before and was never successful enough to notice these changes. It's been an amazing experience to be able to reflect on past eating habits and feel and see a definite change-not just with food but with being more physically active as well.