"It takes a village..."

I heard this phrase while growing up and never really understood the truth behind it until having children of my own after moving away from the only home I had ever known. I grew up with what my husband refers to as a somewhat "utopia" childhood, literally surrounded by family. I lived in an extremely small town with all of my dad's side of the family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins) living within a handful of blocks and a couple of gravel roads from each other. Every morning I would walk two houses up the street to school (sometimes with my mom who was a teacher in the same school)-sometimes if my grandpa happened to be driving his bus by our house when he saw us leaving, he would pick me up and give me a "ride" to school in the bus  (yes, literally half a block away! but oh what fun for a "town kid" to experience riding the bus!) After school, I would walk across the street to my grandma's house where she would spoil her grandkids with sweet treats until my mom came to get us. Every birthday and holiday was celebrated with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, along with the weekly get together at Grandma's house after church on Sundays. I could truly walk or ride my bike anywhere I wanted to go and not have to worry much about traffic. The only really busy road that I had to cross was the one that eventually turned into gravel as it headed west out of town. My parents had babysitters watch us, but we were never short on having sleepovers at Grandma's or a cousin's house. Our neighbors had kids our age and we would play for hours upon hours outside at their house or at our house, making forts in the shelter belt behind our house or playing hide and seek in their yard. I knew no other life than this and it was a great one-one that I envisioned and hoped for for my own kids some day.

I eventually grew up, met Joe and realized that, gasp, not everyone had a childhood quite like mine. In fact, it is a reality for some to barely know your first cousins and to rarely ever see your aunts and uncles. It's an unfortunate reality that sometimes, grandparents pass away before you get to know them, let alone meet them. It is the reality for some that your own little, nuclear family is the only family that you have in town, or in your "city" (Manhattan) as it was for Joe. So it would be quite accurate to say that Joe and I's childhoods pretty much land on the opposite ends of the childhood spectrum.

Fast forward several years, we had Sydney and the first few years of her life, I was still wanting my childhood for her (and eventually for Gavin), even though logically I knew, that it just wasn't possible. Geography made it impossible. Jobs and school made it impossible. It took me several years to accept the fact that our kids wouldn't have the childhood that I had...and that it would be okay. We have lived in Ottawa now for almost seven years (in July!) and Joe and I can truly say that we feel established here. Our children don't have the same family experiences that I had growing up, but it's okay. We are beyond blessed with a village of friends and neighbors who love our family and will, and have, jumped to be at our side to help us in any way they can. Our kids play with our neighbor kids late into the evening just as we used to. We have neighbors who will bless us with holiday baskets, Easter treats, and muffins for the road during a really rough week. (Who will also offer on a whim to watch our kids while we have an adult anniversary dinner.) Friends who go to school to eat lunch with their own child, but will see our sweet Sydney and share a smile with her, a friendly wave, and a conversation (and then report back to us how they enjoyed seeing our sweet girl). Friends who will offer to have their older children walk Sydney out of school so I don't have to unload everybody...or friends who will pick Sydney up from school and take her to gymnastics so I don't have to unload everybody. Friends who will come over to watch our kids so we can go to conferences or I can go grocery shopping while Joe is working. The list of thankfulness goes on and on.  Believe me, I still miss the fact that our children won't have the same experiences of my childhood and the feeling of living so close to grandparents and cousins. I hate that we miss out on a lot of family things because of distance. However, I/we have come to peace with how it is and though we may not be surrounded by our blood family, we are surrounded by wonderful people who make up our "village" and we are incredibly blessed by that.

Happy Birthday Avery!

My dear youngest daughter,

I don't even know where to begin. You are officially a year old today. It does not even seem possible-the year flew by. Throughout the day, I keep flashing back to what I was doing exactly a year ago, beginning with when I was up with you at 5 to feed you, to making you birthday pancakes around 8:00 (for those curious ones, around that time I was probably waiting on the call back from the OB nurse and still debating on whether to even go to the hospital or not!). When I laid you down for your morning nap, I recalled, that by that time, the nurse had advised me to come in, I had called everyone on my "flow chart" and people were coming to watch your sister and brother, someone was coming to get me to take "us" to the hospital, and your dad was planning on meeting us there. And now, I sit here and look at the clock and see that it's 2:34 p.m. You were born exactly nine minutes from now. You came into this world and stole our hearts and continue to do so today.

Honestly, I remember a time when we just had Sydney and Gavin and I felt "good" with our little family of four. (Which is why I sold some maternity clothes and baby things! oops!) However, your dad and I knew we would always wonder about having a third child, we agreed that if we looked down the road (past the sleepless nights and pregnancy and delivery, etc.) that ultimately we wanted a bigger family. BUT, I was nervous to start all over again, nervous about things that could potentially go wrong, worried that I couldn't split my attention and love yet again, plus a few other unimportant, yet valid, logistical questions that I had floating around in my head. We took a leap of faith and I am so, so glad that we did. We are blessed beyond words to call you our very own and you have completed our family in every possible way. I feel completely content when I look at our little family and when I see you interact with your sister and brother (and they with you). It melts my heart every single time. The past year has been busy and crazy, but it has been the very best kind of crazy! And it's only going to get crazier... :) Happy first birthday precious, sweet Avery. We love you more than you will ever know!

Dear Gavin

Happy Birthday month! This time four years ago I had the slightest inkling and a few signs pointing to your imminent arrival, but we had no idea whether we'd be blessed with another little princess or blessed with a little boy. You were born on a warm morning on April 3rd, and the moment the doctor announced "it's a boy!" is one that I will never forget. You came to us Easter weekend-a weekend that we celebrate the risen Lord and the promise of new life. I know this was all a part of God's plan for you! You were sent to us during a bittersweet time, but I know in my heart that you were sent to us to help us focus on LIFE and all the beautiful parts of it....to bring us joy (and you do!), smiles and hearty laughs (an abundance of them!), sass and mischief (you've got them covered ;)), snuggles and love. We cherish you more than you will ever know and we enjoy every single day with you!

Looking at your first pictures down below, I know that we had no idea what kind of a ride we would take with you or the kind of little person you would grow to become. You are a little man who loves to snuggle and will often run up to me or Dad (or another family member) and give the biggest hug and a little shake (your "snuggle"); you are very particular and need to have things in order...sometimes you like surprises and sometimes you don't (it depends on what the surprise is!); you love puzzles and will often pull out all of the puzzles that you own and just go through the stack working on them; you love UNO and have become really good at playing it; you love books! Sometimes I will search for you-because it's quiet-and find you reading a book in your room. Books about dinosaurs, trains, and trucks are your favorites. You have discovered a love for monster trucks, "hunting", and fishing. You LOVE fishing for crappie and bass with your dad. One of your favorite fishing stories to share is when you went fishing with Dad and Sydney and you guys got a "huge snapping turtle!" You love to eat and always seem to be hungry. You love to play outside-climbing, exploring, digging, finding rocks/bugs/worms/footprints. You can always put a smile on someone's face and I cannot wait to watch you continue to grow and change! We are blessed beyond measure to call you ours, sweet boy!

Happy early birthday, Gavin!
Love you always,
Mom