3 years.

When I think of 3 years ago, I was just about four months pregnant with Gavin. When I think about his birth and his last two and a half years, I can only think of how quickly that time has flown by. Today I think of my mom. Three years ago today we said goodbye to her, watched her take her last breath and leave us to join other loved ones in Heaven and become our guardian angel. Three years seems like an eternity to have been without her. I miss her hugs, her smell, her voice, her cooking, the list goes on. I miss the feeling of "home" I would get in our old house when she would make our favorite meal when we returned, or have a new toy for Sydney to play with, or play Wahoo (a crazy marble game that our family loves). With the holiday season coming up, it was her favorite time of the year and while it is my favorite as well (probably because of her!), I miss the little "something" she would bring to a holiday at home. Life made sense when Mom was here.

I think of all of the things that I feel like she is missing, especially now, and what our children are missing by not having her here. I wish Gavin could have known her. I wish she could have known him! To see the silly, sweet, ornery little man that he is and how much he can try our patience and melt our heart all in a swing of a few moments. He would have her wrapped around her finger with a first glance. I really wish she could see the beautiful little person Sydney has become and is growing into. She loves to learn and inquire, explore and try to read--my mother, the teacher, would just soak it all in and know exactly what to do to encourage her to learn more and try more and explore more. They deserved more time with her as their grandmother.

I wish for my sister, that my mom were here, while she prepares for the biggest day of her and her fiance's life together. I have so many wonderful memories of our wedding involving my mom that my sister will not have--and that breaks my heart. I find myself trying to recreate some of the "mom" things that she did for me or that she would have done for Bailey and it's almost impossible. How does one truly recreate a "mom" thing?! It's kind of like trying to recreate Grandma's cooking...it never comes out the same. She was not herself the last few years of her life because of her illness, however, she was still driven to be the best mom and grandmother possible.

I am sad today, but I am going to try to focus on the good and the happy memories and gift(s) that our mother gave us. My sister is one of those gifts. I don't know what I would have done without her these past few years!! I feel like we help each other keep Mom's memory alive and that is a blessing in and of itself. So many of the little things that she did for Bailey and me, I use for my own children, and every time we share a thought or story of Grandma Kathy, her memory will live on through them. It doesn't take away the pain of missing her, but I can now think of her as the mom I knew for the first 25 years of my life instead of just dwelling on those last few, awful days. Many people told me I would eventually be able to get past that...I didn't believe them...but by the Grace of God, and with time, it has happened. I was blessed to call her mine and I was blessed that she showed me how to be a mom. Selfishly, I miss her terribly, but I am so glad that she has a place in Heaven where she is happy and whole and without pain. I just look forward to the day that we are reunited together someday.

Never a dull moment with these two!

Playing dress-up :)

 Exploring!

 His newest line and move..."I'm mad!"

 One of the few fits per day that we see from our awesome 2 year old! :)

We LOVE fall!

Apple picking...

 Apple pie...YUM!

 Isn't it a beautiful thing?

 Pumpkin patch!

 boo!

 bwoo-ha-ha! 

 Found the perfect pumpkins!

 All of our pumpkins and the hay rack ride!

 Curling up with a good book in a comfy chair, with a cozy blanket. :)

 and.....football!

 It makes him sweaty. :)

We do love fall for all of the reasons above. The colors, the smells, the cool weather that encourages more family time outside and inside, traditions, holidays...it is absolutely one of our most favorite times of the year!

Our little loves have some big news!

The very last day of July we found out we were expecting a third little bundle of joy! I had my first appointment in September and all looked as great as it can at 10 weeks. I had forgotten how long this first appointment was! Sonogram (yay!), visit with dr., bloodwork, etc. The sonogram was by far the best part. Being the third time I have had this first 10 week sonogram, I was very excited, but was surprised at how emotional I became. It is just so amazing and I don't think a person could ever get used to that moment when you see your first, second, or even third sweet little "gummy bear" on the screen. Baby was "resting" at first, but then soon after started bouncing around, stretching, kicking, and "waving." I was on cloud 9 walking out of that room and feeling so very, very blessed. ETA April 9, 2013! (One day earlier than big brother Gavin's due date!)

We told the kids that night (mostly because we were so excited!) Of course Sydney was thrilled and Gavin doesn't really understand yet, which is understandable! The next day Sydney told our daycare provider and the news has trickled throughout town ever since. :)

Since we had just been back to my hometown the weekend before, (and it is a long haul to-and-from), we decided to send a surprise photo card out to our family! Here was the big reveal photo. :) Let me tell you what, it is a true miracle that this photo was even possible...there were probably 3-4 timeouts in the course of this photo session, many tears and frustrating moments, mostly coming from our two year old. BUT the most important thing is that in this case "last time is a charm" and it all worked out perfectly!

our three loves!

They look excited....right? :)

Just as I expected....

 School started and I completely slacked off on updating. The month of August flew by. We had a Worlds of Fun Family day courtesy of Joe's work. It was a very long day (and I learned that I prefer Worlds of Fun over Oceans of Fun for multiple reasons), but the kids loved it. Gavin fell asleep during supper and actually, just yesterday Sydney asked me when we could go back! 

Riding the train!

Sydney and me on the Viking Voyager...she loved it!

 In August not only did I return to school, but it was Sydney's first year of Preschool. The week before their first day we attended an Open House and of course, Sydney found the reading corner and the imaginative play area with the kitchen and baby dolls. Gavin enjoyed the blocks and the trucks. Of course. :)

 My handsome boy at the Gardner rodeo! We went to watch cousins Jase and Brian ride bulls!

 Sydney's first day of Preschool. She was so excited and I was so excited for her, but it was rough for this momma. I was lucky enough to have someone cover my classroom so I could drop her off myself for her first day. She was such a big girl, so excited and happy to be there. I held it together until I got to the parking lot and then of course I cried! She is getting so big, so fast and I knew that next year will be a drop-off for Kindergarten! We are so proud of the little person she has become and is becoming. We know she'll do great things.

 The kids requested to go fishing one weekend so we spent a very uneventful day at Pomona Lake. The only one of them to even get a bite was this little guy. The one who kept talking loudly, splashing the pole in the water, and having us cast so he could reel in (over and over and over again).

 All in all August was a very busy month, luckily September slowed down a bit for us, just in time for October to roll in...

I surrender!

We are taking a break from the potty training. He was showing some progress, but not enough to convince me that he was truly ready for this huge transition. I definitely don't want to traumatize him by pushing the issue.

So...we are surrendering to the 2 year old...for now. ;)

time is running out...

The time that I can spend with these two sweet faces every morning, for all day...it's running out!

 

I report back to school Monday the 13th and the kids will return to daycare that day. Sydney is excited to go back to Miss Sherry's and see her friends. The teacher in me is excited to get back in to the swing of things....the mom in me is sad! The summer has flown by and it seems to go faster every single year. When it dawned on me the other day that I had one week left with them I vowed to do something out of the ordinary with them every day until we went back.

We have painted!

Drew sidwalk dinosaurs!

Sydney and the Stegosaurus she created

Attempted a wax paper collage of items we found in "nature" (i.e. around our yard ;)) This didn't turn out so well but the kids loved the nature hunt!

Yesterday we also did a little science experiment with water, oil, and food coloring. It was pretty exciting and the kids loved watching the droplets of color "explode" in to the water after falling out of the oil! I have found many ideas on this website: http://www.playcreateexplore.com/p/activites-for-ages-1-3.html This blogger has recorded so many unique and easy ideas to just throw together and enjoy with your kids!  I look forward to more fun with the kids, but I know these last few days will fly by!

You know you're a mom when....

__(fill in the blank)__

My response? It's kind of long, but let me build up the scene a bit. You are sitting on the bathroom floor while your 2 year old SON (I emphasize son because sitting in front of your daughter on the potty would not result in the same mess ;)) sits on the training potty. You have knowingly placed yourself directly in the "line of fire", reading the same Diary of a Worm as you read to him the first 18 times he sat here to try to go potty (to no avail). He finally does go and it goes all over your legs....your hands....your feet...the floor...and you don't bat an eye because 1) you react so quickly to redirecting the "line of fire" that you don't even think about having pee all over your hands and 2) you are SO EXCITED that he finally went! Finally! Covered in pee and still happy as can be for your sweet boy...that's what it means to be a mom! :)


Day 3's breakdown so far:
2 accidents, multiple attempts, 1 success! hooray!

If anything, G is showing me that he has amazing control over his body because his big sister had many more accidents than this! She also had more successes though so maybe it balances out. ;)

potty training....take 2!

Preface: I tried potty training with Gavin about a month ago to no avail. We bought him the Cars potty seat, Diego and Cars underpants, even Cars wipes, etc. We went all out trying to pump him up and prepare him for potty training. First day he cried just putting the underpants on. Cried when it was "potty time!" even when I blew a train whistle and Sydney announced "it's potty time!" It was a battle to say the least and it was quite obvious that he was not ready yet.  So, as hard as it was, I called it quits for the time being. I pride myself in remaining consistent with my kids and I felt like I was backing down...but I knew this was something I didn't want to push on him thereby making it even more difficult for us in the long run.

So, yesterday, with two weeks left of summer break I decided to try again. Here's the run-down so far:
July 30th, Day 1: 1 success on the potty (yay!), 2 accidents (or 3 if you count waking up wet from nap time), several attempts.

July 31st, Day 2 (so far....): 0 success on the potty, 2 outside accidents (woke up dry but wet his pull-up shortly after waking, so could be considered 3 accidents...ever the optimist ;))....5 attempts.

We shall see what the afternoon holds for us. I am really trying very hard to not get caught up in this and just let it ride...but I don't want to do anything to screw it up either! (gosh...aren't all of us moms like that with every.single.thing regarding our children?!)

With all of this said, he looks so incredibly adorable in his big boy underpants it is not even funny. I have loved watching his chubby little legs run around the house!

Stay tuned. :)

Busy week!

This past week was probably our busiest week all summer long. Sydney had swim lessons  every morning, we have toddler time at the library on Thursday morning (right after swim) and Sydney had Vacation Bible School in the evening! It was a crazy week but we managed and our little lady had a great time at all of her "activities."

 

Last day of swim lessons with her certificate! If she can learn to put her entire head under water voluntarily and not by accident ;) she can pass to the next level next summer!  

Last day of Vacation Bible School with her teacher Ms. Laura. She had so much fun!

While Sydney was at VBS we had the pleasure of spending our evenings with this little man. :) We laughed so much with him--he is such a joy! I love his personality and sense of humor. He makes my heart stop on a regular basis, but I love his fearlessness and sense of adventure! It was great having 2 on 1 time with our son while Big Sister learned at VBS! Our kids are always a "package deal" in my mind...but I realized this last week that Gavin rarely, if ever, has us just to himself! (He adores his big sister usually so I doubt he minds! ;)) However, we enjoyed each evening with him and even had some frozen yogurt after supper one evening!  (don't tell Sydney!) ;)

It's the little things in life that make me happy...

A list of little things that have brought me smiles in the last day or two:
1. Sydney holding Gavin's hand while he came down the steps from our room yesterday morning
2. hearing Gavin's door click open in the morning and watching him as he carefully closes it...then he spots me and smiles his big, sweet "good morning Mom!" smile :)
3. Sydney listening to her swim teachers and discovering that she really does like to float!
4. BOGO half off shoes at Famous Footwear
5. The Merc....a place where I can buy locally grown fruits and vegetables and if they're not locally grown, they're organic. *sigh* This means, NO more nasty waxy coating on my apples or zucchini or other fruits/veggies of the sort. Hip hip hooray! This brings me so much peace of mind it is indescribable.

Just to name a few! :)

He's a big boy now!

Cue tears. On Friday we had scheduled hair appointments for Joe, Sydney, and Gavin. Sydney had a ball getting pampered and dolled up--she was a champ. (Joe was too. ;)) Then it was Gavin's turn and he did not want to sit up tall on the "box"..he did not want to wear the Toy Story cape...he didn't want to sit with Daddy...and almost didn't sit with me, until our friend gave him a "ride" in his chair plus a lollipop. Now that, he liked. He did such an amazing job of sitting still and listening...I was so proud of him! He even loved the hair trimmer that buzzes. Our friend T, said that some kids will freak because it's loud and it tickles...but he loved it and giggled the whole time! :)

sitting so still!

shortly after this, she wheeled him around and told me to "prepare myself, because he was going to be a big boy once he got down from the chair"!

He was so sad when we had to leave! ;)

Our big boy!!

Our dear friend T made it such a wonderful first haircut experience. I am SO very glad that we were able to have her share in this with us--she gave us a special envelope with locks of his hair, with date and appointment time labeled on the envelope. It was such a fun morning!

Splish! Splash! Summer fun!

This week Sydney has started swimming lessons and each time we leave Gavin has cried. Monday, yesterday, and this morning. I can't decide what he is sad about (if it's leaving Sydney or leaving the pool), because yesterday one of her teachers kindly invited him to join them. The teacher in me didn't want to interfere with her lesson, but when she asked him if he wanted to swim as well, he responded with a very sad "yes." So we went in there and he wanted nothing to do with it, and that's pretty much how he has been last summer and this summer. Very standoff-ish near water, will skirt around the edges, loves to splash it but hasn't really shown any interest in getting in the pool or getting wet for that matter. So we excused ourselves and for the rest of the lesson we watched by the fence. :)

However, after nap time yesterday, I told the kids we were going to play in our little pool. Both were excited, and I was shocked when Gavin stepped right in. He's never done that. Soon after he started stomping around making splashes...then he pretended to be a dog and laid on his belly (another jaw-dropping moment for me!) and so it went, him playing in the water having a blast with his sister! I went to pick some tomatoes and when I returned his whole head was wet and he was grinning from ear to ear! Maybe this 100+ degree heat had that effect on him, who knows. I was just loving the fact that he was letting loose and trying new things and having FUN in the cool water! They were entertaining to say the least and it was pretty easy to forget how hot it was while I was watching them enjoy themselves!

Sydney is pretending to be a humpback whale....Gavin is pretending to be a dog...I think!

Silly girl! :)

He was a little worried about his pruny hands!

Oh how I love this little face!